You can’t see the forest for the trees.
Since I returned to the United States I have received many different reactions. What? Why? Huh! Wow! are just a few.
Yes, I am glad I went. Joining the Peace Corps was something I had wanted to do for decades. The application process helped me make some important decisions about my life. Yes, I’m glad I sold my house. I have no idea where I might land. If I do end up in the same area it will be by choice not because I own property there. What’s next? I’m still trying to figure that out. But I find the unknown easier than the unpleasant.
The decision to leave did not happen quickly and was made after much deliberation. The signs were there early on – during training. To give it a fair chance, I thought it was important to go to my assigned community and dig in. The longer I was there the clearer it became a matter of when, not if, I would return early. It was evident even to me in my words and actions.
You can’t see the forest for the trees. It sometimes takes a whack on the side of the head to see the forest. What happened is not as important as the realization that I had lost the joyful part of my soul. I’m no comedian, but my sense of humor is my defense mechanism to get through life. I’d lost it somewhere on the journey. Without it I was lost in the desert (the Kalahari Desert to be exact.) Once I decided to return home it was like magic. I was smiling for the first time in a long while. I was even making jokes in my text messages. If you could see my texting skills you might say they were a joke.
I met some incredible people on my journey and saw some amazing sights. I applaud my Peace Corps family for their endurance and heart. With the support of my stateside family and friends I face the future clueless on where this path is leading me, lost in the forest. With their support and the ability to laugh at myself I am certain that I will emerge on the other side exactly where I am supposed to be.